RAGE

school holidays day trip
sitting in the upper yarra
on pebbles and old leaf
three of us
not yet a shiver
its mid-april
a dog is wading out chasing a stick
can cats swim dad?
they can if they have to
not all people can swim dad why do people have to get lessons?
good question
we throw pebbles
get goosebumps
sleep is the factory of patience
snuggles is the factory of sleep
im cold i wanna get out
im cold i wanna get out too!
towels with hoodies
a picnic rug
dad im hungry
dad im hungry too!
pop the sistema
flip the jam sandwich
the dog struts over to us
and shakes off
eeeeew
eeeeeew
take a breath
the good life
the good life
the good life
the good life
is life good?
despite mounting evidence
theres a life
out there
or in here… worth living
ten years old
playing soccer teams losing
youre all dogshit! fuck this!
he storms off
parent says
im sick of this shit
and drives off
later apologises
im sorry i did that
but i was
but i was
but i was
a little disregulated…
after the age of five
they say repression sets in
when a two year old
stabs a six year old with a pen
they both cry
the child is trying to tell you something
is all true poetry amoral?
the gauntlet of poetry
make a poem work like medicine
like a song
like a freddo frog
after the tantrum peaks
you got thirty seconds
while brain chemicals flow
to teach
so drop a poem
gimme context
gimme language
a poetry for the people
bullies punch down
legends punch up
fascists punch down
comrades punch up
direct your anger
to the right places
after we dry off we snack some more
corn chips pistachios mandarins
an architecturally designed playground
artisanal wood steel and rope
dozens of kids flying around
pushing mine on the swings now
one with each arm
were laughin
dilân helps ezgi climb the turret
theyre discussing the slide
im scared!
you can do it!
i wanna get down!
you should try it!
noooo!
ok… ok thats ok…
im watching from below
fuck me theyre becoming real friends!
i relax
go to the coffee van
order babycinos a biscuit and a long black
oh shit
theyre running towards me
dilâns crying
ezgis chomped her arm
and wont let go
no no stop ezgi let go!
what are you doing!?
she cries
they both cry
i wanna cry too
parents anonymous at work
sharing notes with friends
shame has been cancelled by the middle class
we need to stop shaming them!
yeah yeah youre right
maybe there was a bit of shame in it
but as you know its been drilled into us!
ok maybe a little bit of shame is good
a vaccine against hubris
but not the main tool
the project
smashing domination and
building socialism
has a collective responsibility
under 16s sunday afternoon footy
number 27s stomping on my foot
stop it
i push him away
stop that you prick
he does it again
stop! do it again and ill fuckin—
youre fuggin soft—come on!
his mums watching
my dads yelling
he does it again
so i pull his jumper
over his head and twist his nose
his mum yells stop! get off him!
we wrestle the ground
i pin him down
i shouldnt do this with my kids
i cant do this with my kids
but some rough play is healthy they say
football is the game
of the people
we watch and play and learn
about violence
about justice
about taking matters
into your own hands
daaaaad shes roo-ning my drawing! tell her to stop! nooo! shes
wrecking my special drawing!
stop! stop! let go… let go of her hair
let go!
they say 94% of parents come in hard and
hierarchical like umpires or cops
you gotta share! you gotta say sorry!
abolition starts at the breakfast table
we gotta help them
help themselves for life
we got time
but the bloods spilling
january 25th 1995
the norwegian rocket incident almost
brings russia to the brink of nuclear war
also gabes mum lesley is in labour
also the fascists surge 9% in
the french elections
also its a wednesday so im not
waking up to watch rage
also manchester uniteds number 7
eric cantona leaps into the crowd against crystal palace
to kick a neo-nazi
we all see it on the news
im nine
and i know its right
the british media frenzy says
cantona brings shame
to football
suspended 8 months
they want him to apologise
apologise!
he refuses
its my proudest moment he says
i did it for everyone whos ever wanted to kick a fascist!
and perhaps for his grandfather
who fought in the spanish resistance against franco
gabe reckons cantona
kicked him into the world
cos he was born down the road
the next day
auspicious! suspicious! delicious!
dad sophias scared of witches but
im not scared of witches
good i say people are scared of all kinds of things
but we shouldnt be scared of witches
theyre just women who dont fit in
sometimes i feel like a witch dad
thats pretty cool my love its sounds
like you already understand
and plus one day youll
read marx and federici
and drink at the clyde
the beauty the horror the paranoia the theory
the malaise the practice
see you at the rally
see you on the picket line
why no general strike after each missile strike?
cantona retired and later said
sometimes i feel i quit too young
i loved the game but
no longer had the passion to go to bed early
not to go out with my friends
not to drink
and not to do a lot of other things
sometimes i ender think
i quit drinking too young too
but im still up
late with my friends
and doing other things
(its 531am) ender can you get up with ezgi? ive
been up since 3
baba i weed the bed
daddi im hungry
daddi can i hev a milk
daddi i liek yor new shunglashes
thank you
ken i hev a kumbootcha daddi
allright alllright
sank oou!
its low sugar but its implicated as
shes slamming a metal teapot
against the bathtub
stop ezgi thats too rough!
nope! nope! she mutters
you could really hurt yourself
but she keeps going
ill have to take it from you ezgi!
noooooooooo!
she screams and holds on with two hands
damn shes strong
were at the beach for christmas
waves rolling in
we turn side-on
plant our feet
jump up and over
duck under
not looking
im distracted
wave smashes her over
i scramble to lift her up
that sweet face in shock as she
coughs up the ocean
im so sorry ezgi
now late-may
waves rolling in
an airport a surf park a cafe
a long black a babycino
waves rolling in on a
wall-mounted tv
ezgis agog
in perf bigg wave comin comin comin push me ovah!
and i and i and i… cryin
ouyang yu writes
compradors! coolies! you think we… are ready to turn up
at your beck and call?
maybe new migrants suffer more
because the class system
hits harder hurts greater
the question is
when to hold your ground
and when to fold
this country hates us
i remember
a chauffeured car jumps the queue
in front of us
at the petrol station im eight or nine
my dad leaps out
the driver takes the pump and ignores him
whaddayoudoin? get back in line!
ive got a vip in here mate! gimme a break
i dont give a shhhhit you arsehole!
my dad thumps him
the guy staggers drops the bowser speeds off
dad gets back in
we dont talk about it
so now we create a safe space
for our kids to let their emotions out
like the weather
im a little teacup
i mostly held it in as a kid
all that feeling big inner world
i write poems now
trees died to make oil chairs boats and diamonds
my family exiled
to make kebabs kitkats poems and ford falcons
empire / expire
democracy at work?
your boss asks for feedback but doesnt
really want it so you tell them
i like my job
even tho you hate wage-slavery
wish you were elsewhere
and disagree with management
on substance and style
žižek reckons authoritarian fathers
are better than postmodern permissive ones
cos children can retain an inner freedom
when the dad says you must!
instead of you can if you want to
and you should probably want to
but žižeks missing out on two other categories
authoritative parents and the neglectful…
i dont wanna brush my teeth dadda!
oh but we have to brush our teeth
why?
to keep them healthy
but i dont wanna!
i know your tired here let me help you
nooooo!
say ahhhhh
can i watch bluey?
ooookaaay
ive got brushing downpat
but im still working on flossing
and thru sheer doggedness
we succeed
for tonight
john kinsella on ouyang yu
angry, yes, but he has a vision of beauty and hope
sometimes you bend
in order to get to the next moment
im singing now
theyre under the table
im eating your dinner
youre wearing my socks
we are all tangled
my leg hair your locks
were ok
were alright
were goin steady
were goin good
were hanging in there
were hanging on
were holding it together
were holding on
were struggling
were were were…
drive thru
i thought meant drive thursday
cos every thursday dad would take me
for a twister combo meal after school
i never asked why just thursday
even when i saw cars
going thru on other days…
a life lost to boredom work and cruelty
half a day gone to white lotus
no horizon
do we feel rage? anger?
do we feel anything?
my friend reckons people are fundamentally selfish
no theyre not
i think they are
we gotta challenge that wisdom
in theory yes but its pretty clear to me
yeah but were living under capitalism which
is a machine for selfishness and killing
i guess im talking to a socialist
its socialism or barbarism my friend…
youre quite utopian
but ive read david graeber!
yeah yeah any wisdom?
egalitarian societies exist and sometimes even alongside hierarchical ones… so
hierarchy isnt natural and capitalism isnt natural
but why do hierarchical societies dominate?
do they?
they do now
you can rule by the sword but not for long
dilâns got nits
and now were all doing treatment
but muh-ahh-ummm iii haaaaate iiiittt
i know i know but theres no other option
we all have to do it to keep everyone safe
but i dont like it!
we cant like everything
can i watch another episode pleease…
ok one more but keep your head still and
tilt your head back
sophie applies the tea-tree & eucalyptus oil mix
the bugs are killed by dehydration in ten mins
but you still have to brush out the eggs
awww awww
sorry just a little bit more…
nooooo!
children havoc our sleep ok
we accept that
but the lesson is
lets ruin the sleep of our big bosses and rulers
make them go crazy! make them shit themselves!
on dilâns birth certificate
my occupation = writer
four years later
for ezgi = bookseller
cantonas retired… now he takes the stage
to accept an award
they ask eric what is going through your mind right now?
he answers…
as flies to wanton boys
are we for the gods
they kill us for their sport…
i love football
the camera cuts to
messi and ronaldo
front row
side-by-side
like two trout at the fishmonger
glistening on a bed of ice
all death no fear
theyre listening to king lear…
pushin up the pension age!
manchester uniteds iconic number 7s
george best got out at 28
cantona at 30
beckham at 38
ronaldos still working at 40
where are his friends?
what of his late nights?
the lads used to play hard…
history happens when rage fills
enough people at the same time
about the same thing…
ezgis watching the wiggles on my computer
im hanging the washing over the balcony
my eyes on her through the window
im almost finished ezgi
shes not listening
theyre having fun at the beach / havin fun havin fun
ok! finiiiish! she announces
daddi i have to do shum werk noooww!
shes banging away at the keyboard
typing ferocious
gentle! tap tap not bang bang! i say
im werkinnn! bang bang
her jaw is tense her eyes crazy
i hang the last sock
she punches the screen
an slams it shut
we eat chicken soup
change our car tyre
climb a tree
play in the sandpit
buy olive buns and a strawberry icy pole
pick up dilân from school
go to gymnastics
small talk with parents
and on the way home
all together singing
im blue da ba dee da bu dai
we get home
i open my laptop
the screens smashed
oh shhhhhit! ezgiiii! im so fucking angry
im sorry baby im sorry im
just angry ah fuckk its my fault shes only two i shoulda never let her…
hierarchies can solve some problems
there are no nits in the military
cos everyone has short hair
but in an egalitarian society
there would be long hair
but no nits
ezgi likes the rallies
all of us do
we touch the struggle
we feel it
rage into joy into rage into
a world worth living in
the next day shes chanting
free free palestine!
and makes up her own one
don forget yor paleshtine!
so we do some study
structure our anger
what fills the body
must be directed to the right places
old man yells at cloud
ive hit 40 so i talk of getting old
and now im that guy
at the library the sign reads
quiet individual study
but a guys on his phone to tech support
someones streaming basketball
and a trio are having a laugh
so i stand up and say
if you need to talk thats ok
but youll need to go elsewhere
it works
they simmer down
but was that a shaming?
im filled with adrenaline
or is that my shame?
i shoulda got closer to them
i shoulda kneeled down by the table and gave them the word
finally in therapy
i get heated and it all spills out
our therapist says she was moved
but it took so much to break thru
the plaque on the heart
raising that anger from the deep
to make it work
for something good…
scribbled on a found scrap of paper
as soon as they submit patiently to their yoke
workers become the animals
they are imagined to be by their masters
understaffed
at work budget cuts
more theft
a guy just walked out with
six records under his tshirt
and flipped the bird
im not gonna chase him today
management in a fizz
cctv footage fetish
in this economy
more begging outside
theyre all regulars
the labor mayor hires private security
to appease traders and landlords
private thugs now beating up the homeless
when i speak to them
they dont answer
fascism is being trialled
and stakeholders are impressed
i want every poem i write
to crash the nasdaq
but sometimes we just need
a smooth drop off at daycare
and all we have to give is this
jingle we came up with for ezgi
i waaant my muuum-mi
you waaant your daaaad-di
lets play to-geee-ther
until they pick-us-upp!
and it works day after day
words
words
words